Pride Has No Place in True Love

 In true love, there is no place for pride. ~  Thich Nhat Hanh

Darling, I suffer.  Please help me.

The above is the last mantra from the previous post,  Love Mantras for a Mindful Valentine’s Day.   This mantra is a response to a difficult situation, so we are going to give it some more attention.

It has been discussed how sometimes we feel slighted by word or deed of our loved one.  Normally, we go to our beloved when we need comfort, when we need someone to talk to, when we need reassurance.  If our loved one is the person that has led to our suffering, this does not seem so easy.  Our pride may keep us from doing the very thing we need to do to ease our pain.  Instead, or seeking relief, we may avoid our loved one and suffer alone.    Pride must not stand in our way, because the reconciliation we need has to come from our most loved.  If we let pride stop us, it says we are not trusting in our beloved.  This is not what true love looks like.  True love embodies trust of our partner.

heart in hands 2

When we go to our loved ones to express the suffering we have felt at their actions, we may find out what we perceived is not what they meant or that we have somehow misunderstood their actions.  They may have acted angry, and we thought they were angry with us.  It could turn out that they were angry about something that has nothing to do with us, and their voice reflected that anger.  They may have acted impatient with what us, but they had no idea they were acting that way and their impatience was a reflection of a struggle they were experiencing elsewhere.  Perhaps they were really mad at us or for something we had done but we didn’t realize that we had caused them suffering.  Talking to them let’s them express their suffering to us, and we can both benefit from this sort of airing of grievances and understand each other better and express our apologies of how our actions affected one another.  We cannot let pride stand in our way.  Things aren’t always as they seem, but even if they are, we are not going to move past it if we do not address it with the person with which the issue originates.

Recommended Reading:

Teachings on Love

The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship